random thoughts
by randommonium135
Summary: it's actually a crossover fic. but i couldn't do it right. it's just a bunch of my random thoughts written down. but it will include different types of characters from books and movies.it has a plot now, it's therapy for fanfic characters.R&R? *complete*
1. Chapter 1

*** hello, hi, hiya, sup**

**Iggy: shut up and continue**

**Weirdo(me): fine, anyway hello, it's Randommonimum135 here but i like to be called Weirdo, for those of you who don't know me. and yes, i kidnapped Iggy.**

**Fang: forgetting someone?**

**Weirdo: oh yea, my friend Jynx kidnapped Fang. she has her own profile too, but she hangs out here a lot, thus Fang is always here too. but this is yet another story from me. it'll be different from the others that i've written, this'll be a crossover fic. it's just a bunch of random things that contain book and movie characters from pretty much anything. just random thoughts that i have. **

**Iggy: if you can get anymore random**

**Weirdo: oh i can. but i am not trying to steal anyones ideas, i appologize if i do. and i'll give a little warning, i'm epically random, weird, and a bit skatterbrained. so whatever i write in here will probably have no plot what-so-ever. oh and i'll mention many ocs... but only two are famous, well famous to my stories. they are Onyx (Fang's twin) and Henry. so now that i think that i have given all warnings possible... Onyx...**

**Onyx: disclaimer: weirdo is not james patterson, bye *walks over to iggy, grabs his hand and kisses him:**

**Weirdo: one, about the disclaimer, it is meant to say i do not own maximum ride and i am not JP and two, onyx this is not a make out area. especially when it's in front of me, remember i give you **_**permission **_**to date Iggy. i can take that away.**

**Onyx: well you never let him leave**

**Weirdo: wait until i'm at scho... wait, he goes to school with me, wait till im asleep.**

**Onyx and Ig: whatever**

**Weirdo: anyway here's the story.**

**~random~cheese~**

chapter 1: the story of Iggy and Weirdos child

(weirdo's pov)

ok, so it's not like i never imagined having a child with Iggy. but when i found myself holding a little strawberry blond haired, brown eyed baby in my arms i frankly was just a bit scared. yes you read right, i am holding mine and Iggy's child, her name is Rylan. i look down to see her little brown wing-stubs flap a little. yes, no denying it, she's Iggy's and my child.

you're probably wandering how could this even happen? yea, well you're not the only one. here let's rewind this day to the beginning.

-13 hours ago-

today was just like any other day, i woke up and got dressed. then i went to the stage where i go to introduce my fanfics to wake up Iggy. And once again i found him laying with one wing around Onyx, my lovely Oc that i created to be the perfect match for Iggy. *curse my mind* but i walk over to my brand new megaphone and scream into it

"Iggy, wake up. time for school."

i stifle a laugh as he and Onyx jump up in surprise. it gets me everytime. i used to just push them off of the stage.

"why do you insist on doing that every morning?" Onyx says, while Iggy regains his bearings.

"hmm, because it's fun." i say, picking up my invisible chain that only i can see. *it's a fanfic, i can do anything*

i hook the chain to the belt loop on the back of my pants and hook it to Iggy. it can stretch pretty far. i wouldn't have to use the chain if he'd stop trying to run away. then we went to school. when we got home, Onyx was waiting for us, of course.

and so was Fang, duh. by now it was three o' clock in the afternoon. we all decided to go hang in the meeting room, i mean we had nothing better to do. soon Jynx, Reaper, Icing, and Snow came in too and we all just hung out. before we knew it five hours had past, it was now 8 o' clock.

and the time some little pixie, fairy thing came. she told us her name was Twinkle and she was a baby delivery fairy.

"why would a baby delivery fairy be coming here?" i asked then looked at Onyx and Iggy holding hands, then i looked at Reaper and Snow also holding hands.

"alright, which one of you did it?" i Jynx asks them.

we got looks that told us they definitley did not "do it". so the question was still there, who "did it".

the fairy consulted her teeny clipboard. that's when my thoughts strayed to thinking, i wonder if it would be possible for me to read that little clipboard. it was so tiny and i can't read really little writing. so i came to the conclusion... i really wanted to try it.

"it says it's for a Randommonium135 and a... James Griffiths." Twinkle says.

Iggy shuddered at his real name being said and the shock and i swear my jaw hit the floor. did she just say that Iggy and... and I had a child. i felt the stares of everyone.

"me and Iggy most definitley did not "do it", i'm still a freakin' virgin for gosh sakes." i say.

that's when all the stares shifted to Iggy.

"i know you are all staring at me and no, i didn't do anything." he says.

"this has got to be some mistake. are you sure you got the right people?" i asked, already knowing that she didn't.

"nope, it's what it says." Twinkle says and out of nowhere a baby falls into my arms. then she was gone.

i looked down at the little thing in my arms. it had Iggy's hair, my eyes, oh yea, and Freakin' wings too. there was no denying it, this little girl looked just like Ig and I. my only thought was how did this happen?

and thus you are now caught up on our little predicament. and yes i am the one that named her, i may not have really wanted or needed a child yet but i refused to call her "the baby".

"what are we gonna do? there is no way that that is our child." ig says, freaking.

"iggy, it looks just like us. it's innevitable, this is our child. but i have no clue how." i say.

i look over at everyone else. Fang was trying not to laugh and Reaper and Snow looked releaved that she wasn't theirs. Icing was about the size of an ant by now. *inside joke* Onyx just looked shocked as did Jynx.

then Rylan started to fuss.

"shoo, shoo." i said to her soothingly.

"seriously, what are we gonna do?" Iggy asks.

" I have an idea. here hold her." i say handing Jynx the baby and grabbing the phone.

it was time to call in the big guns. i dialed the number and waited. then the i heard the click sound of someone answering the phone.

"Hello." said the man who answered.

"yes, James Patterson, can i ask you about what you would do with an infant bird-child?" i ask the man. *it's a fanfic remember. i can go straight to the guy*

~lulolulo~

*** so did you like it. this seriously is just made up on the spot. and it will have a continuation. do you want to find out what happens to little Rylan. that poor, poor bird-baby...**

**Iggy: yea, seeing how she's somehow yours**

**Weirdo: shut up, she's somehow yours too. by the way, we're still trying to do the math on that one.**

**Rylan: - crys -**

**Everyone but ig and weirdo and Fang and Jynx: we're leaving, enjoy your night.**

**Ig and Weirdo: you guys are the best friends ever**

**Fang: at least you can leave...*reaches a hand out to them* take me with you!**

**Jynx: don't you dare even try to escape *says while attaching her invisible leash to Fang so they can leave* well good night, enjoy taking care of the baby. call me if you need help. *jynx and Fang leave***

**Iggy: they just left us behind didn't they?**

**Weirdo: sadly, yes...*holding the baby***

**thank you for reading, please review**

**reviews make the day better**

**~iggy~for~life~**


	2. Chapter 2

*** Hello and welcome to chapter 2 of Random Thoughts. In this one you'll discover what happens to Rylan, Iggy's and my poor-bird-child, that we have no clue how she got conceived. **

**Iggy: She. Is not. My. Child! I'm only 15 years old.**

**Me: Well she looks like us, And she has freaking wings. Last time I checked, I didn't have wings.**

**Iggy: She could be Fang's.**

**Me: -stares- *remembers he can't see* I'm staring at you. She has freaking strawberry blond hair, Iggy. Fang has black. Geez, and anyways, how did this become a couples debate. And, byt the way, I'm 15 too.**

**Fang: don't bring me into this.**

**Iggy: sorry, i'm just desperate here. Just imagine a weirdo-child. *shivers***

**Fang: *shivers***

**Me: *whacks them* shut up, my child will grow up to be... *realises who the parents are* That poor poor child.**

**Iggy: *realises too* That poor poor child.**

***Iggy and Weirdo are both crying***

***Reaper and Snow walk in***

**Reaper: what's their problem?**

**Fang: They realised how their child will grow up.**

**Snow: that poor poor child. *also starts crying***

**Jynx: they need therapy.**

**Icing: I agree. So what now?**

**Jynx: we take over.**

**Fang: oh boy.**

**Jynx: anyways, here's chapter 2. Reaper...**

**Reaper: disclaimer: maximum ride does not belong to Weirdo and neither does JP, she is not JP.**

**Me: *through tears* I wish...**

**~Rylan~is~doomed~**

Chapter 2: How Rylan was conceived

"yes, James Patterson, Can I ask what you would do with a bird-baby?" I ask.

Silence, then

"What? May I ask how you got a bird-child?" He asks.

"Well, from a stupid fairy named Twankle... Twunkle... Twinkle, that's it, she said that Iggy, your character whom I kidnapped, and me, Weirdo Crazey or Randommonium 135, have a child. Then she gave us a child that looks just like both of us and we have no clue how the dang thing even got conceived, seeing as we are both 15 and still have not received their first freaking kiss because your a blind bird- kid and a crazy-psychotic person who is not afraid to kidnap said blind bird-kid. so we would like to know what would you do with a bird-child that is th daughter of said bird-kid and crazy-psychotic person." I say, all in one breath.

Once again, silence, then,

"well, I honestly don't know how to respond to that. But i will say that i have not created a bird-child. so it didn't come from me. sorry I couldn't help." He says and hangs up.

"thanks for the help." I growl while slamming the phone back into the reciever.

"what?" Iggy asks.

"He couldn't help us." I say.

"who?" Junx asks.

"JP."

I get looks telling me they get it.

"So what now?" Iggy asks, looking worried.

Rylan coos from Jynx's arms.

"I honestly have no clue," I say, taking Rylan, " but until we figure out something, I guess we take care of her."

I get an understanding look from Iggy.

I walk back over to the phone, pick it up, and dial 135. It's the number to call my receptionist.

"hello." I get from Liam. *the mutant Liam that died in ch. 2 of a maximum ride story. he is now a ghost*

"yes. I need a crib, diapers, baby formula, bottles, and any thing else you think a baby girl would need." I say.

"right away." he says and we hang up.

We didn't know how amazing that child was.

-One week later-

"mommy-weirdo, can i jump off the stage again?" Rylan asks me.

Yes, you read that right. Rylan now looks, acts, and speaks like a five year old. In one week! But so far, she hasn't grown anymore, thank goodness.

"sure, go ahead." I say and she runs and jumps off, flapping her now 5ft wingspan wings. she flies fairly well, thanks to Iggy being a good teacher, but she can't...

*thumping sound* land quite well yet.

"ow, daddy-Iggy my butt hurts." she says, not even shedding a tear.

I hate to say this but, we're attached to her and yes, we let her be reckless and stupid because well, look at her mom and dad. But we're still trying to figure it out. I've called anyone and everyone I can think of: James Patterson, Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, the Twelve Olympian Gods and Goddesses, even Jack the Pumpkin King, and still no explanation. I wish I could get ahold of Twankle... Twinkle, I mean. I've looked through every phonebook I own including: the regular phonebook, the olympian phonebook, the seasons notebook *as in spring, summer, fall, winter*, Hell even the north pole phonebook.

We absolutley could not find her.

"why are you staring?" Iggy asks, making me jump.

guess what happened when i jumped? Did I stay on the stage? Nope, that would be too easy. Instead I fell off of it and landed on my arm, and then there was a crack. so no, Weirdo, could not get a pain free day, instead she breaks her arm. So, yay me, we get to go to the hospital.

-4 hours later-

My arm is in a black cast. sitting at a meeting desk, planning for fanfics and... future things. the thing is. I broke my left arm, i'm left handed. so my writing kinda looked like, well, Rylan wrote it. so you get what i'm going through. I'm alone because Jynx and Fang took Ryaln for a walk *Fang was forced* and I gave Iggy the job of locating Twunkle... Twinkle. Why did I make the blind guy go find a fairy? Cause I'm tired of doing it.

~Weirdo~Crazey~

(Iggy's POV)

Damn that psychotic kidnapper. Yeah I thought it, because she sent me to go find Twinkle the fairy. by the way, don't walk into a fairy bar in Fairyopia and say,

"i'm looking for Twinkle."

Because, apparently, she's not liked. at all. because i got attacked by hundreds of multi-colored fairys. I know they were colored because I felt it as they were attacking me. word of warning: Do not piss off fairys. when I finally got away from the fairys I ran and hid in an alley. Then I opened a portal to Gark *the magical land that is covered in black where Weirdo's life is* and go back to the offices.

Then I realise, I just trapped myself again. Damn. Oh, well, i go to one of the newest editions to the place, Weirdo's office. I have the place memorized by now, so I know exactly what door to go to. I walk in and hear the shuffle of papers.

I wonder if they're for Weirdo's not-so-secret secret plan. We can tell she's planning something, but she won't tell us. *gotta love the power of a mind reader, gotta hate the power of the person who created said mind reader* I drag myself over to a chair and sit down, not even missing the chair.

"whoa, what happened to you?" Weirdo asks.

" I got attacked by a bunch of fairies." I say, exhausted.

I could tell she was trying to stifle a laugh,

"did you find Twunkle, er... Twinkle?"

"No and do not mention her name around other fairies."

"Damn, we really nneed to figure out how Rylan was created."

I just now realised that Rylan was not in her usual corner.

"where is she anyway?"

"with Jynx and Fang. I had some work to finish."

I'm kinda afraid to ask that "work" was.

"what happened?" someone asks.

I reccognize the voice, it's Onyx.

" Iggy fought fairies." Weirdo says.

and i hear Onyx stifle a laugh.

"my poor baby." Onyx says, grabbing my hand and sitting on the arm of the chair.

I swear I heard Weirdo's nails digging into her desk. So she is jealous.

~Weirdo~vs~Onyx~

(Weirdo's POV)

I dug my nails into my desk while telling myself to not be jealous. I mean it's my fault that Ig and Onyx are in love, i mean i created her that way. *once again, curse my mind* I was sitting there planning ways to, well, let's not go there. but that's when i remembered I knew someone who could probably help us. Her majesty, the queen of my OCs.

"Eureka." I shout, making Iggy jump and Onyx look at me surprised.

"What?" Onyx asks but i don't answer.

instead i open up my desk and pull out a black cell phone. it's only good for one use, to call her and any of my ocs. i open and go through the contacts, believe it or not, there's a lot. i find the name Elestigeeya, I call her El. and hit send.

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner, but remember, i'm skatterbrained. I get distracted by shiny things.

" Hello." a majestically beautiful voice answers.

"Hey, El, it's Weirdo. I kinda need your help. Can you come to Gark?" i ask her.

"haha, I'll be right there." she says, and we hang up.

"who was th..." Onyx asks, just as El poofs in.

"it's El." I say, hugging El.

"yes, you needed help." El says.

and just then Fang and Jynx come in, with Rylan.

"yes'm I do actually. you see that little girl?" I ask and point to Rylan.

"yes." she says.

"well she's Iggy's and my child. and we don't know how she was created. can you try and help us?"

"yes, i can help. I know exactly who she is." El says.

"you do. how was she created?"

"you created her, Weirdo. In your sleep. you dreamed about her and poof she's here." El says.

she got shocked stares from everyone but Rylan. well i did not expect that one. so, I guess that mysteries solved.

~surprised?~

*** so this is the end to the two hole chapters of the Rylan part. it'll continue but it will probly have nothing to do with how she was conceived.**

**Iggy: yea, no that we know how she was created.**

**Me: shut up. it was a dream i didn't even remember. sorry.**

**Rylan: mommy, daddy not want Ry.**

**Me: oh, hunny, we want you. it's just that you were... unexpected. we're gonna find that Twankel, twurnkel... ah...**

**Iggy: Twinkle.**

**Weirdo: we're gonna find that Twinkle and give her a peice of our minds and discover why she didn't explain. Jynx.**

**Jynx: yes**

**Me: can you watch Ry for a while. we're gonna go hunt down...**

**Iggy: Twinkle.**

**Me: yea.**

**Jynx: sure.**

***Weirdo opens up a portal to Fairyopia.***

**Me: thanks.**

***Iggy and Weirdo go through portal***

**thank you for reading. please review. did you expect Rylan to be an OC? I really can't remember my dreams most of the time so I thought I'd make that how Ry was made. oh yea and i didn't really break my arm, i have never actually broken anything. great i jynxed myself. but anyway the next chappie to this will probably not have anything to do with this chappie and chappie one's plots. and you'll find out my not-so-secret secret plan. this plan will make this story have a point yet still be very random and stupid. but thank you for reading and please review.**

**reviews make the day better.**

**~iggy~for~life~**


	3. Chapter 3 random plot

*** hi, so here's another chapter. I'm writing this from a new place. Can you guess where? No, ok, we're in...**

**Iggy: Freaking Angel Land!**

**Me: yes, Angel Land. Not sweet, innocent Angels...**

**Iggy: Angel. My Angel. You know, the one who wants to take over the flock and possibly the whole world? That Angel, went and created her own dimension.**

**Me: Yes, we came here on accident. we followed Twurkle...**

**Iggy: Twinkle**

**Me: yes, Twinkle, through a portal and we ended up here. When we got here we saw screens everywhere with Angel and Total on them. and Angel was saying some sort of speech. And once again we lost, Twurtle.**

**Iggy: Twinkle**

**Me: Yes, and Iggy is listening for the sound of her wings so we can go beat her... I mean talk to her. So while we're waiting, I'm writing this. So Iggy...**

**Iggy: Weirdo does not own Maximum Ride, Me, or any other thing that does not belong to her.**

**Me: wel put. I believe you can tell what I don't own. So here it is. ***

***~sacred~***

chapter 3: Random Plot

(Weirdo's POV)

I put the papers i'm holding down on my desk with the feeling of accomplishment. It was time to clue everyone in on my plan for the offices. You see I have been expanding my building, it originally was just a stage and a meeting room and of course, back stage of the stage. but I had offices added on, one for everyone. Yes, even Iggy.

The reason for this is, I've decided a therapist. and I'm gonna see if everyone else wants to be therapists too. what will we be therapists for, fanfiction character issues. So this place will now be called " the therapy center". Now I just have to hope everyone's on board.

*~sacred~*

" so you want to know if we want to be... therapists?" Icing asks.

" Yes." I say, giving everyone serious stares.

" I'm in." Jynx says.

" Me too, Me too." Ry says waving her hand in the air.

" Ry, hunny, you can be mommy's little assistant, ok." I say.

" Yay, Yay." She says, and runs back to her toys.

" So, what does everyone else say?" I ask.

" What the hell, I'm in, not like i got anything else to do." Icing says.

"I guess I have to, don't I?" Iggy asks.

" You bet your life you do." I reply.

" I'm in if Snow's in." Reaper says.

" I'm in if you're in." Snow says looking at Reaper.

" Fang's in." Jynx says, giving Fang a look telling him not to say a word.

" Ok, you're all in. yay, we can celebrate." I say.

" Ok, so what exactly are we gonna be doing?" Iggy asks.

" Well, we're gonna help overworked, overused, and screwed up FanFiction characters. Jynx, you'll be one of my assistants/ second in command number one. As in you'll help me out and if I can't be in charge for some reason you and Iggy will be in charge. So that means Iggy you're my second assistant/ second in command number two. Icing you'll be in charge of Rylan, when Iggy or I can't watch her..."

" So, I'm the babysitter?" Icing asks.

" Pretty much. and I thank you ahead of time. Anyways, continuing, Reaper and Snow you'll be receptionists along with Liam *once again read ch. 2 of a maximum ride story by me*."

" Gotcha, and let me guess, you're the boss-lady." Snow says.

" Righto. Now you all know your jobs and you all have offices now. Your names are on the doors and Ig, for you, I had colors put on all of them. Yours is Red."

" Great, the color of explosions and fire." Ig says.

" Oookay, anyway, thenk you all for working with me. we start today. Get to your stations. They are all located in the folders that Rylan is handing to you now. Iggy, you and Jynx will probably be in my office for today." I say.

" Whatever." Iggy says, standing up.

We all leave the meeting room and go to start the day as a Therapist and her workers.

*~sacred~*

" Now what does the problem seem to be with you." I ask, even though I already know.

" I want to be the leader of the flock and Max won't let." Angel says in a sweet little girl voice.

Gee, maybe cause you're seven years old. I thought that then remembered, she can read minds.

" So, just 'cuz I'm seven doesn't mean I can't be a leader." Angel says back, a little angry.

" Sorry, but you _are_ seven. You can't be the leader Just yet. Besides Fang here would be the leader next, Then Ig and so on." I say.

" I CAN BE THE LEADER!" she says.

I swear to gosh if this little girl tries to mind control me then I would lock her up right there. Even though I'm beginning to think that I just should.

" Angel, it's not gonna happen. Get over it." I say.

" I WANT TO BE THE LEADER!" she yells, again.

" Angel, if you scream one more fabulously annoying *high sarcasm* time..." I say, finishing the rest in my head and rubbing my temples.

Geez, I was only on my first patient and I was already getting a headache. I look at Angel's face. Her eyes widened but she was otherwise quiet. I look down at my clipboard and click my pen. I write "severe leader disorder, needs therapy. Permanent resident due to unhealthy obsession, may try to kill Max." I click my pen again and stand up.

" Ok, Angel, you are going to go to room 1. Jynx, will you take her there please?" I say.

I get a nod from Jynx and her and Angel walk out.

_" I'll get you for this." _I hear in my mind.

Ok, so, yea, she's a seven year. but is she just a smidge terrifying, yes. I walk out and start towards the next patient. I look at my clipboard, I see who it is, and take a deep breath. Next up Allen Walker.

*~sacred~*

*** so did you enjoy. thankyou for reading. yes, this story now has a plot, a therapy center. It's a parody of St. Fang of Boredom's stories, A day in therapy and A day of house calls. I just got done reading them and it gave me an idea. So I thank Saint for the idea. Obviously, you can tell I ****DO NOT**** own Angel, Maximum Ride, Iggy *I wish, but he's mee abductee*, Fang *Jynx's abductee*, Allen Walker, or D. Gray- Man. I DO OWN the plot of this story, Jynx, Icing, Reaper, Snow, Onyx, and Rylan. But thank you for reading and please review.**

**Iggy: I hear her.**

**Me: Who? Twindle.**

**Iggy: Twinkle.**

**Me: Yes**

**Iggy: yes, she's around the next corner.**

**Me: ok, we have to go get her no. So thanks for reading and please please review.***


	4. Chapter 4

*** sup, it's chapter 4. And it's also Iggy, so hi. Weirdo is a bit busy right now, so i'm introducing this chapter. we'll be continuing with the patient Allen Walker and a surprise patient.**

**Weirdo: *in backround* Where's Twurtle?**

**Iggy: *yells* Twinkle**

**Weirdo: where's Twinkle?**

***Ig walks up to them***

**Green Fairy(GF): I don't know, she went through that portal.**

**Iggy: *loosens weirdo's grip on GF* that's what we're asking. Where does in the portal go?**

**GF: I don't know. *flies away***

**Weirdo: Let's go *grabs ig and goes through portal***

**Iggy: where are we now?**

**Weirdo: the digital world. *sees someone she recognizes* Hey, Koji.**

**Iggy: who's Koji?**

**Weirdo: a friend from my er... travels.**

***koji and friends walk up***

**Koji: Weirdo? What are you doing here?**

**Weirdo: where looking for a fairy named Twindle.**

**Iggy: Twinkle**

**Koji: who's he? *points to ig***

**Iggy: My name is Iggy, i'm from somewhere else, and Weirdo kidnapped me. Oh, and I'm blind, just to let you know.**

**Koji: aw, a fellow abductee. Hi. *shakes Ig's hand***

**Iggy: you kidnapped someone else?**

**Weirdo: yea, but it only lasted, like, 10 minutes and 5 of that he was out cold.**

**Iggy: who's you escape?**

**Weirdo: he turned into Magnumgaruru-mon and threatened that if i didn't send him bac he would destroy the center.**

**Iggy: sweet. Weirdo, i'll destroy the center if you don't let me go.**

**Weirdo: go ahead, just remember you'll be stuck in the digital world and you'll have no food.**

**Iggy: drat**

**Weirdo: anyways, have you seen a multi-colored fairy?**

**Koji: yea, she went into the forest.**

**Weirdo: thanks, see you later *grabs Ig and runs into forest***

**anyway here's the chapter**

***~sacred~***

chapter 4: therapy sessions

I walk into examination room seven. Allen Walker is waiting for me. I walk over to the chair in front of him and sit down and he jumps.

" General Cross, no don't hit me with the hammer." He says.

" Relax, my name is Dr. Crazey *aw, the irony* but you may call me Weirdo. Who is General Cross?" * I already know him *shivers* but I still have to ask*

" he's my master. he trained me to be an excorcist." Allen says.

" mmhm, and when exactly did he hit you with a hammer?"

" when he told me to go to the black order and then he hit me and when I woke up he was gone."

" ok, and has he ever done anything else to you?"

" Not really, except made debts that I had to work to pay off, make it so people came after me, made me take care of a plant that tried to eat me."

I just stare and then write it all down. That General Cross is... well there are no words for him. I feel really bad for Allen.

"so you're terrifyed of your master?"

he just shakes his head. I also write this down. i look down at my clipboard and write: General Cross abuse. that should take care of it.

" ok, Allen, you are welcome to stay here in room five, or you can come back for your appointments, you'll have your next one one, Friday."

" I'll have to come back, I have excorcist duti..."

"what?"

" I have to go on a mission with Kanda. He'll say something about my height again."

ok, so he needs therapy to cope with Gen. Cross and Yu Kanda. I write that down.

" ok, here try these coping tactics, one, take deep breaths when Kanda says something about your height, or two, think WWWD, what would weirdo do, I would turn around and say a comment about his girlish long hair. *btw, i love Kanda I mean no offense.* and I'll see you Friday."

I say that and we stand up.

" thank you, I'll see you friday." he says and we shake hands.

" good, Rylan honey, can you escort Allen to the door? *Rylan is with me right now*"

" Yes!" she says, jumping up excitedly and pulling Allen out the door saying something about her wings.

Ok, two down and I'm pooped. I also have a headache. I need an Ibprofen, I head up to my office.

*~sacred~*

(Icing's POV)

" You said your name was... Ash Ketchum, correct?" I ask the boy sitting in front of me.

" Yes." He says, once again trying to "catch" Iggy in a pokeball. * Iggy is with Icing for today*

the pokeball bounces off of iggy's head and Iggy gets an angry look.

" will you stop that, I didn't mind it the first time, or even the second, but the tenth time, i'm getting kind of irritated." Iggy says.

" now Ig, you can't yell at the patients. now Ash, will you please stop trying to catch him?"

" No, he is a pokemon and I must catch them all because I will be the world's greatest Pokemon trainer."

"Pika." Pikachu says.

" Iggy is not a pokemon, he is a bird kid. he is a teenage boy. you cannot catch him."

" he is an animal and I will catch him." he says throwing yet another pokeball at Iggy.

" Ash, give me all of you pokeballs. Now." I say and he pulls off his bookbag and hands it to me.

I look down at my clipboard and write: catching addiction, believes he must catch anything animal looking. attempted to "catch" Iggy 11 times.

" I must catch them all to be the greatest."

" yes, Ash, Iggy can you escort mr. ketchum here to room 18. We will be having another guest." I say and Iggy takes Ash out.

I take his bookbag to my office. I never thought being a therapist was so exhausting. I sit down at my desk and lay down my clipboard. I'm tired, but I have more patients. but I put my head down anyways.

*~sacred~*

*** thank you for reading and please review. Iggy here agian, Weirdo is once again busy, with Twinkle the fairy.**

**Weirdo: Listen up, Twitter...**

**Iggy and Twinkle: it's Twinkle!**

**Weirdo: ok, listen up, Twinkle, why didn't you explain to us how our daughter was created?**

**Twinkle: because It was fun to see you freak out.**

***W and I stare at her/ I as best as he can***

**Weirdo: you are a horrible, evil, little fairy. Did Angel create you?**

**Twinkle: Who's Angel? whatever life as a baby delivery fairy is boring. I need to have fun too.**

**Weirdo: I don't want your life story. You need therapy girl. That's your punishment, you'll go through therapy at my center. *opens portal, grabs ig, and pulls both Ig and Twinkle through***

**Twinkle: I don't need therapy. i'm fine.**

**Weirdo: listen, Twinkle, *evil, scary, creepy, dangerous face* you will get therapy and get healed or you will never see Fairyopia again. EVER! *pulls out cell, dials 315***

**Liam: hello miss. Crazey.**

**weirdo: yes, please poof yourself down to the waiting room and take miss. Twurtle...**

**Iggy: Twinkle**

**Weirdo: miss. Twinkle to the OC courters, keep her contained, she can open portals. * Liam poofs down and takes Twinkle* well that's done, I'm exhausted. let's go up.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and please review. I now have a poll up. Whoever wins will get all-u-can-eat virtual skittle *since i can't give away real gifts*! Yay! * Please look at Note From Weirdo***

**NFW: did any of you notice that throughout all of the chapters I say Twinkle wrong? And then Iggy or someone else corrects me. Well here's the poll, Can you count how many times that I say it wrong? whoever wins will get virtual skittles.**

**please, please review**

**reviews make the day better.**

**~iggy~for~life~**


	5. Chapter 5

**~* I am back and I must apologize for updating so late. I had a biology project to do but i'm back. So today we are having some fun with this chapter, so It'll need a warning.**

**WARNING: IT CONTAINS EXPLOSIONS MADE BY A 5 YEAR OLD AND THINGS BEING BLOWN UP!**

**Iggy: yes, my kind of story.**

**Weirdo: of course it is. but you're not the one that makes the bomb. just saying.**

**Iggy: i know. It's a wonderful 5 years old.**

**Weirdo: oh now you think she's wonderful. here's the story.**

**~*love*~**

chapter 5: explosions

(Icing's POV)

You want to know something scary? Can you guess? No? Well, i'll tell you, a five year old running into your office with a bomb that she made.

"Uncle Icing, look look what I made." Rylan says, running in, waking me up.

" What?" I say, both in question and surprise.

Then I look closely and see that she's holding a bomb. A frickin' bomb. I jump up real fast and pull it out of her hands.

" How did you get a bomb?" I ask her, eyes wide.

" I made it. Daddy- Iggy's teaching me how to make them." she replies.

I didn't really know how to react or what to do with it, so I freaked and did the only thing i could think of. I whipped it out the window. stupid move on my part. Because it hit Weirdo's car *i'll explain in the end* and it blew it up.

Kaboom...

That was all I heard, then silence. When I could finally hear again Rylan was jumping up and down in excitement.

" Woohoo, that was more awesomer than I thought it would be." Rylan says, excitedly.

" What the hell happened now?" Weirdo asks, walking in.

" Aww, the sound of a bomb going off. Who couldn't love that sound?" Iggy says, also walking in.

" Well, one, your daughter made a bomb and I threw it out the window and it blew up your car. and two, I most definitley do not love the sound of a bomb going off." I reply.

I just get stared at by Weirdo. and then everyone else came piling into my office.

" You blew up my punch buggy? That was a gift from Hephaestus himself." she says.

I think that means i'm gonna be dead in about five minutes. I look at her and she sighs.

" I'm sorry." I say, that's all I could do.

" It's fine. I just have to go to Mount Olympus and talk to him. Clean it up. And Rylan you are going to help him, your grounded from making bombs for right now. Iggy, do not let her make anymore." she says that pulling out her phone and walking out.

That went real well. I grab Rylan's hand and drag her out to the parking lot.

~*boom*~

(W's POV)

I walk out of Icing's office, dialing the number to Hephaestus. I can't beleive that he blew up my car.

"Hello."

"Yes, Hephaestus, this is Weirdo, I have a question."

"Weirdo, hi. What is it?"

"Do you remember that car you made me?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well because my friend kind of blew it up. Can you make me a new one, i'll pay you."

"Well, um sorry about the blowing up part but yes I can make you a new one. and you don't have to pay me, it's the least i can do for you for being friends with my son Leo."

"Thank you, H. and tell Leo he can come and hang anytime and he can bring his friends too."

"Will do. I'll get to work on that."

"Thankyou." I say and hit the end button.

It's a good thing I'm good friends with all the Gods and Goddesses.

~*love*~

**~* I hope you enjoyed it. Now you definitly know for sure that I have a great imagination at making children to a pyro and an crazy-weird-psychotic person. but thankyou for reading and please review. **

**NFW: and now i'll explain the whole Weirdo's car. yes i am only 15 and should not be able to have my liscense yet but in my dimension there is no cops or very many laws so we can get away with it.**

**thankyou all so much for sticking with this random story. please review*~**

**reviews make me update faster and help me feed Iggy**

***iggy*for*life***


	6. Chapter 6

*** Hello, Hello, Hello, it's Weirdo here telling you welcome to Random Thoughts. Today we are going to hav some romance talk and some more mischeif of the gang. So remember that cell project thing I had to do, yea i passed it with a 97% damn right.**

**Iggy: who knew you could be that smart.**

**Weirdo: you are a horrible person, at least I hav an education. unlike someone.**

**Iggy: I hav an education.**

**Weirdo: what, tv, like two months of real school, and then Max school that didn't last very long.**

**Iggy: yes**

**Weirdo: that's not an education, technically you shouldn't even be aloud to come to my 10th grade classes. you should be in class with Rylan.**

**Iggy: you're her teacher.**

**Weirdo: so, at least she goes to school**

**iggy: i grew up in a lab. **

**Weirdo: so, you can start an education now...**

**Jynx: this conversation could go on... lets just have the disclaimer.**

**Snow: maximum ride is not weirdo's it if JP's.**

**~*education*~**

chapter 6: love

* Reaper's POV*

" So you are the goddess Aphrodite?" I ask.

" Yes."

" and what seems to be the problem with you?"

" I feel like i'm not bringing enough love to the world."

Oh, I think she is. otherwise, there would be no couples, right.

" And why do you feel this?"

" I just feel like something's missing."

" Like what?" Snow asks.

" I don't know."

Snow and I exchange glances. and to think this is the goddess that brought he and I together.

" But, I know how you guy's relationship is going. I am the one that brought you two love." she says making a love symbol with her hands.

" Yes, and we thank you for that." I say.

" I mean don't you just enjoy the power of love?"

All this talk of love was really starting to make me want to deck her.

" Yes, we do. Can you excuse us for a moment?" I ask and stand up, grabbing Snow and going out anyway.

" What?" he asks.

" We need to have Weirdo handle her." I say and I call Weirdo.

That was entirely too much love talk.

~*love*~

An hour later, Aphrodite is back up on Mount Olympus. Good, that love talk was getting on my nerves. And how did it go from us being her therapists to her being ours. That was weird. I walk over to my desk and sit down.

But just as I sat down there was a poof and then an orange fairy popped up in front of me. Then I was hit with desa vu. Didn't this happen right before Weirdo and Iggy got... No way.

" Congradulations, I'm Sprinkle a baby delivery fairy and I'm here to..."

" Nope. Nu uh. Get out! Now! I don't want it! i'm only 15, I don't need it. good bye." I say and shove her out the door.

That is soooooo not happening yet.

~*peace*~

(Snow's POV)

" Congradulations, I'm Sprinkle the baby delivery fairy and I'm here to deliver a baby to Snow Nixon and Reaper Scythe. Enjoy." This weird looking orange bug says.

So I do what comes naturally, i grab my fly swatter and smack it. It's eyes got wide and it squeeled a little.

" What the hell was that for? I am not a bug. Take this thing now." It says and puts something else weird on my desk and disappears.

I stare at the spot that it was at for a second, then the thing it dropped on my desk made a weird noise, so I look down at it. and stare. then it moves.

" What is it?" I ask nothing and poke it.

It starts to cry.

" REAPER!" I shout. and she comes running over.

" what?" she asks.

" what is this thing?" I ask, poking it again.

She looks and starts to laugh.

" It's a baby, Snow. Did an orange fairy come over here?"

a fairy? is that what that orange thing was?

" Yes, i believe so." I say.

So an orange fairy came to my office and gave me a baby. ok. cool. WAIT... A BABY?

" who's baby?" I ask.

" ours." she says, after a minute or so.

Our ba... baby? what? when? how?

" Yes, our baby, yes, it's true, And probably from Aphrodite." She replies, as if reading my mind.

Oh. we look at eachother.

" WEIRDO!." We say together.

she comes walking in.

" What now?" she asks, looking tired.

Reaper and I just point at the baby. she takes one look at it.

" Icing!." she yells.

He comes running in, Rylan on his heels. they were both covered in soot and lugging car parts.

" what?" Icing says.

" Take this baby to the infirmory, get it checked out, then you're now in charge of it when Reaper and Snow can't take care of it." she says, all business like.

" So I get to babysit another kid?" he asks.

" Not until he grows because i'm sure he'll grow like Ry did. until then he can stay in the Oc courters, Onyx can take care of him." she replies.

Ok, so she has had her car blown up, went through therapy sessions, and has dealt with a baby, all with a straight face and not freaking out. She's good. Icing grabs the baby and they all walk out, leaving me and Reaper alone.

" I want to call him Xzavier Scythe." she says to me.

" Ok, I don't care." i say.

I'm suddenly exhausted and just want to go to bed.

" Ok, I have work to finish. and you can go to bed." she says, walking out.

How does she always read my mind?

~*bliss*~

*** so were you surprised, Reaper and Snow now have a son named Xzavier Scythe, sweet right. and this one was all Reaper's idea. And now Icing is stuck with two kids, a pyro and well, Xzavier's personality will be a surprise for the next chapter, because he will grow like Rylan did and Icing, he, and Ry will get into much mischeif, i have plans. but ill stop ranting now and say thankyou all for reading and please review. thank you.*~**

**Reviews keep me updating and Iggy and now Rylan fed.**

**Please review**

**~IGGY~FOR~LIFE~**


	7. Chapter 7

*** so she's back, yay. so I was busy, that's why I didn't update for a while, sorry. But from now on there will be a warning on every chapter so...**

** WARNING: IF I SPELL SOMETHING WRONG, I DO NOT MEAN TO. MY KEYBOARD IS MESSED UP AND I SOMETIMES DO NOT CATCH MY MISTAKES. SO THANKYOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. **

**ok, so warning over now. time for fun. last time Reaper and Snow had a kid named Xzavier Scythe. He was a gift from the Goddess Aphrodite. In this one he will be the size of a five year old, and he and Icing and Rylan get into some more trouble. **

**Disclaimer: maximum ride, Aphrodite, time machines, Harry Potter, magic wands... I'm pretty sure you can figure out what does and doesn't belong to me.**

chapter 7: magic wands, time machines, and screwing things up

(Icing's Pov)

So now I'm in charge of two kids, two terrifying kids. One is a pyromaniac and the other is a darkness controller. As in he can control the darkness. Know how i discovered this? Ok, i'll tell you.

We were sitting in my office when the lights just turned off. I tried to flip the lightswitch but nothing happened. I thought maybe a light bulb blew, then realised why would all of them blow at the same time? Then I realised that it was Xzavier doing it. It really is scary when a five year old stares at you like that.

I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't listen to me. so I just gave up and went over to my desk, it's a good thing Weirdo gave us all emergency flashlights. I pulled mine out and tried to do my paper work. Let me tell you, it was no walk in the park either.

After about an hour of darkness Weirdo and Reaper came in. And instantly the lights came back on.

" What's going on?" Weirdo asks.

"Well, let's see Xzavier can control darkness and he took away the lights until you walked in and Rylan is..." I look around this office and my mouth just hangs open.

Rylan had every wire, cord, or anything electrical ripped apart and in the middle of the floor sat a big bomb and she was beside it. How on earth did she make it without me hearing her. We all just stare in shock.

"Rylan Crazey, didn't I say that you were grounded from making bombs. I just got my new car." Weirdo says, getting a stern look in her eye.

"Let's go, Xzavier." Reaper says, grabbing his hand and they leave.

But what we didn't notice was Rylan lighting the bomb. Let's just say that one ended with Weirdo having no eyebrows, me having left side of my office, and Rylan being grounded even longer. Weirdo had the repairmen here in a flash. Why am I the babysitter?

(still Icing)

"I'm bored." Rylan says.

Xzavier just nods his head.

"I don't know what to tell you." I say, looking at her.

Then she gets this glint in her eyes, that can't be good.

"Let's go down to mommy's car garage." She says, standing up.

She grabs Xzavier's arm and walks out and of course I have to follow them. I suddenly got the feeling that this was going to end up badly. After running down like four flights of stairs we get to the garage. The garage is where Weirdo keeps all of her special cars, like the one we were walking up to right now. How did Rylan even know that her mother had a time machine? They climb into it.

"Come on, get out of there right now." I say.

The answer I received to that was the engine starting.

" Are you coming or not?" Xzavier asks me.

Shit. I couldn't get them out and they were gonna go either way. I did what I thought I should do, and Weirdo is gonna kill us later but I got into the time machine. Rylan hit a bunch of random buttons and soon I felt dizzy, like we were spinning very rapidly. Then the car landed in an empty area.

Then I wondered, what time were we in. I look at the dial and it says 10/11/2001. We went back in time ten years. We all piled out of the car and right away we saw someone we all recognized. We saw a six year old Weirdo.

*** so did you like it? please tell me but please no flames. i really hope you enjoy this random story. Thankyou so much for reading and please review. **

**Icing: really, why did you make me the babysitter?**

**Weirdo: because I like to torture people.**

**Icing: of course you do.**

**NFW: this is an announcement, here in like a week or so Reaper will be turning 16 years old. I may have a birthday chapter. And just to inform you Icing is 16, Jynx is 15 and I'm 15 but I'll be sixteen in a few weeks. So I may create birthday chapters.**

**Thankyou all so much for reading my stories. Please review ***

**Reviews help me feed Iggy and Rylan.**

**~*iggy*for*life*~**


	8. Chapter 8

*** Hello I'm back. If you're wandering why I haven't been writing, I was sorta busy. * aww glorious drama* So I ask, please no flames. Ok, now that that seriousness was said, let's get goofy again. So here's whats happened, I am now the owner of, not only Iggy, but Fang too. Jynx kinda gave him to me, he kept hitting her with a frying pan. So now Fang will be here at all times.**

**Fang: *holds up frying pan***

**Iggy: *holds up frying pan***

**Me: Don't even think about it boys. I will banish food!**

**F and I: darn it!**

**Me: so I must aplogize for the long A/N, so here's the story.**

* chapter 8: what could go wrong *

(Icing's Pov)

So we sat there, staring at a six year old Weirdo. It was creepy seeing her like that again. She just stared back and she must've recognized me because her eyes got real wide then normal again.

" Icing?" she asks.

" Yea." I say, not really knowing if I should've or not.

" Wow, how did you get so big?"

" Because we're kinda from the future." I reply.

Her eyes widened again. But then she got a big smile on her face. Oh, boy.

" So that means, you can take me to the future and I can see what I look like then?"

I knew it was coming. And before I could even open my mouth, all the kids were piled back in the car and I had to hurry up and jump in, just as we started going back through time.

(Weirdo's Pov)

Where could they be? I checked all over the place and I still couldn't find Icing, Ry, or Xzavier. I was sort of afraid of what they might be doing and, of course, the blind guy was no help. I've looked everywhere. Where else could be le... Oh no!

(Icing's Pov)

The time machine stops in the garage, just as Weirdo is walking in. She looks really pissed. We all pile out, even her. Then her expression goes from that of anger to that of shock. Her mouth just hung open as she stared at herself.

" Wh... what did you do?" she asks.

" Um... well, we went back in time ten years and... we kinda brought the six year old you back with us." I say, getting her death glare.

" Why?" she asks, crossing her arms now.

" She... you just climed in and I didn't have time to pull her out before your daughter hit the switch." I say.

All she does is facepalm. I guess she just figured out that she would do something like she did. * is that sentence confusing, or is it just me*

" Come up to my office." she says, uncrossing her arms.

We all make it up the stairs and make it to her office. We all sit down in the chairs that are at her desk.

"now tell me... a, me. Why did you want to come here?" she asks.

*** so I apologize for it being so short. i really am sorry it's just that My hands are tired and so am I. I honestly don't know how much longer this story will last. I have a few more plans for it but then i'm stumped. hmm.. ***

**please review it helps me keep Iggy, Rylan, and now Fang fed.**

**thankyou**


	9. Chapter 9

*** So she's back. Finally! I must apologize I was writing a one-shot and it took longer than I thought it would. So I have run out of ideas for this story, thus this will be the last chapter. Sorry, but I can't think of anything else to write for it. So here's the next chapter.***

**- chapter 9: the big banishing -**

** " I'm here because I wanted to see what we looked like when we're older. I have to say, not what I imagined." She... I reply to myself.**

** Did I just critisize myself? I look down at my all black outfit except for my white hoodie and then my pink and black checkered hi-tops. Then finally my almost butt-length dark-brown hair.**

** "What's wrong with what I... we look like. The black is the dress code of Gark. *yes my land has a dress code (most people don't follow it though) and yes it's called Gark (it's an inside joke between me and my cuz)***

** "Nothing, nothing. I'm bored. What do you people do for fun?" she... me states.**

** "We are at work right now. So nothing at the moment." I say.**

** "I can show you how to make a bomb." Ry states, and before anyone could say anything, they were gone.**

** How the hell did Max handle Iggy at this age. Oh, that's right, think WWMD. *What would max do* And I got nothing. I stand up and wave Icing to follow, time to find my daughter.**

**- Rylan POV -**

** "Ok, then you put this here. And this one here." I say explaining a bomb to my mini-mommy.**

** "Uh huh. So cool." she says.**

** "This is gonna be so much fu..." I go to say but then we hear sizzling.**

** Oh. No! I think I put the wire in the wrong spot.**

** "Run!" I shout.**

** Then Xzavier, mini-mommy, and I crawl out of my hiding spot. We get out just in time for it to blow up. It blew so high that even the roof got taken out with it. We stand and see the damage. Mommy's gonna kill me.**

**- Weirdo's POV -**

** We hear the loud boom, then the vroof blows off right over our heads. What did that girl do this time? We walk out into the hall and find the kids. They are dusty and dirty. Mini-me had a huge smile on her face.**

** I look up and see that there is no roof anywhere. I just flop down on the ground.**

** "I give up. she'll never learn." I yell.**

** "What was that awesome sound. That was the sound of a huge bomb. Wasn't it?" Iggy says.**

** "Yes, Iggy. It was," I say, standing up, " your daughter blew up the therapy center."**

** All I got was a stare.**

**- 2 months later -**

**- Weirdo's POV -**

** So the therapy center was ruined. So we built a new one in another part of Gark. This one is bigger and bomb-proof. We or I transported all the patients here via portals. And we got mini-me home and now I have the memory of going home and telling my mother about a little girl, a bigger me, and a bomb-gone-wron.**

** And then my mother saying,**

** "Great imagination, Sweetie."**

** Aww, children's minds. I also grounded Ry for a week. I also found my first gray hair and I'm freaking 16. *my birthday passed* Aww, stress. And also I travel, along with Iggym Fang, Rylan and Jynx, around all of the dimensions for therapy sessions. Gotta love my bright ideas. Right now, we're in Angel Land.**

** "Weirdo, come in here. You're the leader." Jynx says.**

** Welp, guess I gotta go. Thanks for listening to the lovely rabbles of me.**

**- the end -**

*** So here's the end. It's emotional. But I'm severely out of ideas for this story. And i apologize if this chapter seemed dumb, it's the only way I could think of ending it. But thank you so much for reading.**

**Iggy: so this is the end of the therapy sessions of this story.**

**Fang: yes finally.**

**Weirdo: it wasn't that bad. Besides Iggy, you had fun hearing me lecture Rylan about the bombs and you encouraged her, too. So you had some fun.**

**Anyways thank you so much for reading this to the end. And please Review.***

**~ Iggy*for*life ~**


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